I have pictures and videos of every nook and cranny of my childhood home. Now, I paint it all. At first, I was beside myself about this house becoming someone else’s. I felt like I was losing and old friend forever. Recently, I’ve thought, “I have a way to keep this old friend with me: through my paintings. My creative process eases the angst I would otherwise feel about this event that marks the passing of time. It is a true friend on my journey.
My dreams about what once was are on a canvas. When I think about Heaven now, I don’t just imagine seeing my loved ones lost. I imagine seeing them within the places we lived life together. Until the day comes when I go back to it all, I paint it. I am aware that I am mourning loss and making sense of grief. Mindfulness painting gives me a creative process for sorting out the present moment with more understanding, peace, and acceptance.
Go Back, Move Forward, 2020